#my parents and friends thought i was dead cause i literally went mia for 4 days

[razzleberryjam]

Also like fuck forced hospitalization, I went to the hospital because my zoloft got cut off suddenly when I lost coverage to see the psychiatrist who had been prescribing it, and I went to the hospital becuase (I didn't know it att but) I was experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms and I was literally just like 'I feel really bad, can you refill my zoloft for me?' And they kidnapped me and held me hostage for 10 fucking days, I spent my birthday in the fucking ER after having my phone and clothes stolen, I couldn't even contact anyone for days. It was fucking terrible. They did like forced body checks and asked me about every little mark on my body to make sure it wasn't self harm, and then they diagnosed me with MARIJUNA INDUCED PSYCHOSIS, becuase I was young and naive att and thought being honest with doctors was a good thing so I was like yeah I smoke a little pot, and they were like "oh yeah, that's what did it"

Not to be like decriminalize self harm but like…decriminalize self harm stop locking people up over it.

[laora-inn]

Supernatural - Destiel in 13x04, or Why Cas can’t die

Hi, guys.

In the light of Destiel angst that is waiting for us in 15x18, I want to return to Dean’s grieving arc in season 13, ep. 1-5, when he thought he lost Cas forever.

It’s no secret that Dean was acting like John Winchester back then. Sam’s words, not our assumptions!

You can read about these parallels in @obsessionisaperfume's great post. If you’ve not seen it yet, just go and read. 

Here is one quote:

It was Mary’s name that was not mentioned when Dean was growing up. Now, all season long it has been Cas’ name that Dean chokes on, Cas whose death he can’t forget, Cas whom he mentions before Mary without fail and only under provocation.

If Dean is destroyed, it isn’t by losing Mary.  He’s already lost her once, and this is almost a reversion to previous status quo.  He’s destroyed (lost everything, doesn’t believe in anything, this is the “lowest we’ve ever seen him”) by losing Cas.

So if this parallel holds, the fact that John’s behavior changed after his wife (his romantic partner) died indicates that Dean’s behavior changed because of the loss of a romantic partner.

All the arc of season 13, ep. 1-5 is about Destiel and Dean’s inability to live without Cas. ‘Cause in 13x05 Dean basically killed himself for nothing, and it wasn’t some emotional decision. Unlike 11x17, THIS TIME it was well-thought. Dean was carrying injections with him. What for? 

Well, in 13x05 Billie said us. Dean just wanted to die. 

On the other hand, John Winchester somehow managed to live 22 years after Mary’s death. So what’s the difference between him who lost Mary and Dean who lost Cas? Why is it so devastating in Dean’s case? 

Here the reasons I suggest:

1) In 13x04 Mia speaks about grief journal. She asks Dean specifically about it after Sam’s said their father had one. It’s the hint - ‘cause John started his journal right after Mary’s death. It was basically his grief journal, with all the monsters inside. 

Dean doesn’t have his own journal. And doesn’t plan to have. Like Sam said in 13x04, “my brother is not processing his grief”.

2) John had an established relationship with Mary. They were spouses. 

Dean didn’t have an ”official” relationship with Cas, despite of all the feelings between them. Now he has no chance even to know what this relationship could look like. Just like Sam said about Mary - “And now I will never have it?!” 

3) After Mary’s death John still had two small kids to look after. Maybe, he wasn’t a great father, but he raised them. They could be dead without him. 

Well, after Cas’s death Dean still has Sam and Jack to look after. But they are adults. Sam became physically independent long time ago, Jack looks like an adult and HAS SAM WHO’LL LOOK AFTER him. 

Just like in some point Sam had Dean who’d looked after him.

And that, my friends, is an unconscious reason why Sam in 13x04 called Jack his brother. He sees Jack as a younger brother to look after. And says that Dean is sounding like dad to him. 

You know, this thing was bothering me all the time. Does Jack really have 3 step-fathers, Sam, Dean and Cas? Clearly it’s Sam whom Jack trusts the most, Sam was the first man whom Jack saw after he was born. Clearly it’s Dean whose appreciation Jack wants the most, whom he is fishing with, like Dean was with his dad. Also it’s Dean who promises to talk with him about sex. And clearly it’s Cas whose love for Jack is absolutely unconditional, like... oh, wait. Like his mother’s love was. 

So technically Jack has 3 step-fathers, but in fact their roles are divided like this: "father”, “mother” and “brother”, who is like third parent to Jack and is closer to him than dead “mother” and angry after “her” death, desperate drinking “father” are. 

This situation is very similar to John, Mary, Dean and Sam family dynamics. Especially if we’ll consider the circumstances of Mary’s death. 

Mary made a deal to save John (and the world, as we understand from season 13 - without Sam and Dean, their children, the world would be ruined by angels). Her son, Sam, had some “evil” in him. John knew it. He didn’t accuse him of Mary’s death, not literally, but he ordered Dean to save Sam or TO KILL him. And yep - Sam has BLOOD of Mary’s killer in him. 

Well, Cas went to Kelly to save the world AND Dean from the great evil. Jack, who recognizes Cas as his father himself, is in fact Lucifer’s son. It’s Lucifer who killed Cas. So Jack has some "evil” in him and definitely has BLOOD of Cas’s killer. Dean knows it. And he wants to kill Jack, because he thinks Jack can’t be saved... until understands that Jack is like Sam and Sam can save him. 

And here the 4th reason comes, why, unlike John, Dean can’t live without his romantic partner. The main one. 

4) Unlike John, revenge has never been Dean’s driving force. He just wants to protect his family, and after Cas’s death he can’t. He fails all the time - in 13x01 while fighting angels, in 13x02 while fighting demons. Without Sam he will be dead for sure. In 13x03 it’s Patience who saves his life. In 13x04 - Jack. In 13x05 - Sam again. Dean can’t protect anyone, he can’t even protect himself anymore. So in 13x05 he chooses to die.

This statement will be also proved by 15x09, where Cas is in the Mal’ak box and Dean just gives up. 

That’s Sam who is driven by revenge, not Dean. It was like that in season 1, when Sam lost Jess. In season 2, when he lost John. In seasons 3-4, when he lost Dean. In season 15, when he lost Eileen. (Situation with Mary in season 13 doesn’t match here, because Sam thinks she is alive and has a plan how to save her. That’s why here he is calm and has no death wish. As for Cas - he was never so close to Sam than to Dean, so Sam wasn’t influenced by his death). 

But it’s not true for Dean and it never was. 

That’s why he just can’t make it without Cas.

And that’s why Cas can’t be dead at the end of the show. 

[skullrock]

the partners | Steve x Reader

chapter one: please, please, please, let me get what I want 

series summary: you and Steve are police apprentices at Hawkins Police Station in the fall of 1986. you get along famously, but there’s something Steve is hiding, and there is an unknown evil lurking in Hawkins. [friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff]

chapter summary: Steve finally agrees to hang out outside of work. 

warnings: swearing, 80s music 

word count: 2.4k

a/n: this chapter is mainly a ton of exposition, but it’s gonna get better I PROMISE. huge thank ya to @wolfish-willow​ who gave me some beautiful ideas (milky coffee + danish loving Steve) that helped this fic come to fruition <3 enjoy!

--

You pull into Hawkin’s Police Department at 7:30, a half hour before your shift. There are two coffees in the cup holders of your car, and a paper bag filled with two pastries on the passenger seat. You pull in beside your partner’s car and he hops out, a smile plastered on his face. He crawls into your passenger side and grabs the bag.

“This one’s yours,” you say, pointing to the coffee cup marked milk w/ dash of coffee. He laughs, pulling out his blueberry danish and handing you your strawberry donut. He bites into his pastry and lets out a sinful moan, making you smack his arm.

“It’s too early for you to be gross,” you say, but he looks victorious.

“I’m sorry you don’t like my happiness,” he quips, and you roll your eyes.

It was tradition that every Monday that you both worked, you’d get coffee and pastries from the local bakery and shoot the shit in your car until your shift started.

“So, I had a dream last night where I was dating Mia Sara,” he says.

“Wish that were me,” you reply, taking a sip of coffee. “Did it work out for you guys?”

“Nah, she left me for Harrison Ford.”

“Tragic.”

He pauses, listening to the music softly coming from your radio. He scoffs upon realizing what was playing.

“Stop listening to this sad shit,” he says, turning the dial, making you shout.

“It’s the Smiths!” You try to bat his hand away, but he manages to change the channel to a Queen song. Typical.

You and Steve had become good friends after securing your positions, despite your perception of him in high school. After the fire at Starcourt and the death of Jim Hopper, the federal government had given the Hawkins Police a grant to let aspiring cops train directly in the field. It would fast-track getting certified, eliminating the need for expensive schooling. It was like a paid internship. A paid internship where you basically get paid to bullshit with your best friend all day.

A third car pulls in. It’s Veronica, the secretary. She takes over on days that Flo wants off – she’s worked hard enough for it. Veronica was a bit obsessed with Steve, so he groaned when he saw her get out and wave.

“What do you think she’s going to say to you today?” you giggle, and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Probably, like… that she had a dream about us last night, or something.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “God, please don’t let her talk to me.”

Women were throwing themselves at Steve the minute he put the uniform on, but he claimed he wasn’t interested in dating. You weren’t really sure why, given his history, but he never answered any questions. He just said he wanted to focus on work and having fun, so you let him.

Steve was kind of a mystery to you. You were incredibly close at the station, but you’d been working with him for a few months and you never saw each other outside of work. There were talks of maybe going to a movie, but they never went anywhere. It was bizarre, considering how fond you both were of each other. But you didn’t want to push it, unsure if you were making him uncomfortable.

In reality, Steve was just nervous of letting people in. Not just because of his history with girls and friends, but because he also had Russians and demons to worry about. He felt that if he let anyone new into his life, he would be putting them in mortal danger. This viewpoint is also the reason why he applied for the apprenticeship in the first place.

When the position popped up, Steve had no second thoughts. He had looked up to Hopper greatly since the time Will was possessed. He knew without a doubt that he wanted to follow in Hop’s footsteps. But he also felt an obligation now that Hopper was dead. Joyce had left, taking Will and Eleven with her. The three people who had the best grip on the strange events that had occurred the past three years were gone, and the man who devised most of the plans (and executed them) was gone, too. Steve couldn’t sleep at night for months. He needed to constantly call the kids and Robin to make sure they were safe. Being part of the Hawkins Police seemed like a no-brainer; it was a way to ensure everyone was safe and be on the frontlines to protect them.

Not that he ever let this on; usually he would just say that he’s always wanted to be a cop, and he kept it at that.

You’d decided to do the apprenticeship after college didn’t work out. You went to one in Indianapolis after high school, but you weren’t really into it. Your parents decided to retire and travel for a few years, offering to let you have the house while they’re gone. You gratefully took them up on it, and you’d been living there since the spring. You’d enjoyed a few months off, but decided it was time to find something new to do. You’d always had a fantasy of being a hero. Maybe not a hero cop, but a hero. You wanted to save lives, make an impact. Being a police officer seemed like a good start. You knew it wouldn’t be like the movies, but the strange events that happened the last few years excited you. Maybe you’d get the chance to be someone you’ve always wanted to be.

“Why don’t you just give Veronica a chance?” you ask. “She’s pretty and she’s nice and she’s smart.”

“She literally told me she wanted a lock of my hair,” he says.

You choke on your coffee. “I forgot about that.”

“Yeah? I didn’t.”

Steve’s watch beeps, signaling that it’s 5 minutes until 8.

“Please keep talking to me when we go in,” he begs as you both climb out of the car.

“What’s in it for me?” you inquire.

“I will give you all of the lunches my mom brings me for two weeks.”

You pause. “Even the Fruit Roll-Ups?”

He sighs. “I’ll throw them in if you do a good job.”

You successfully make it past the reception desk without incident, waving hi to Callahan and Powell. You knock on the Chief’s door to signify your arrival, and you and Steve make your way back to the annex you worked in. Your desks faced each other, making it easier to talk through your 8-hour shifts. They were usually pretty boring. You and Steve were only cleared to respond to calls about petty things, like noise disturbances. But it’s not like much ever happened anymore in Hawkins, and the town had almost made it a full year without any weird occurrences.

A few hours go by, and boredom runs rampant. You hated Mondays: things hardly ever happened. Steve gets up around 10:30 and puts a mixtape into the boombox in the annex. Don’t You (Forget About Me) comes on, and Steve mutters, “aw, hell yeah,” under his breath. You know he’s going to start dancing, but it doesn’t stop the surprised smile on your face as he starts to swing and spin and sing. It’s magic, watching Steve dance. It makes no sense, it’s clumsy, it’s so white that it hurts; but it’s also hilarious and never fails to pick you up. Sometimes you’d join him. Other times, you’d call him an idiot. And sometimes you’d just watch as the magic unfolds.

This was one of those times.

--

The door to the annex opens around 1, approximately 5 hours into your shift. You and Steve are begging for something to do, because throwing M&Ms at each other isn’t fun by the second hour. You’d just thrown one at Steve when the door swings open, and you and Steve look at the intruder with wide eyes. It’s the Chief.

The new Chief was okay, you guessed. He was also brought in by the feds. He was a kind older man, with deep set blue eyes and wispy white hair. He could have come straight out of a storybook. You thought the Chief delegated nicely, and you’d shared a few good laughs. Something always felt off, though – but you and Steve chalked that up to the fact that you both were extremely biased against anyone who wasn’t Hop.

“Noise disturbance call,” Chief Edwards says. “Some kids out on Maple Street are causing mayhem.”

Steve groans and throws his head back. “Please tell me it’s not 30 Maple Street.”

The Chief blinks. “It is.”

“God dammit,” Steve says under his breath. It’s Mike’s house.

You and Steve get into a patrol car and set off.

“Do you know these kids?” you ask.

“Yeah, they’re kind of… my kids?”  He scrunches his nose. “I keep them out of trouble.”

You pause, confused. “So, you babysit them?”

“No, no,” Steve says. His face grows slightly red. “They’re my friends.”

Steve pulls into the driveway of the house, blaring the siren once to scare the kids that were on the lawn. Their faces quickly went from scared to excited as they saw it was Steve in the car.

You both get out of the car, and Steve takes the lead. He puts his hands on his hips and faces the kids. There were 4 boys and 2 girls, no older than 16, if you could guess. One of them with dark hair is holding a hose, and the others are wet.

“What are you shitheads doing?” Steve asks sternly. A couple of the kids giggle.

“What seems to be the problem, officer?” the red headed girl asks.

“I told you we were being too loud,” a kid you recognize as Will Byers says. He is smart, sitting on the porch and just watching, amused.

“Right,” says Steve, pointing at Will in recognition. “Way too loud. Mike, where’s your parents?”

There’s a beat, and then the girl standing next to the red head quietly says, “Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler aren’t home.”

Steve sighs. “Alright, well, you could always act like idiots inside the house, you know.” He looks at the dark-haired boy holding the hose. “Mike, what are you doing with that?”

The boy’s face breaks out into a devilish grin, and you can predict what’s about to happen. He points the hose at Steve and a curly haired boy turns the handle to let the water spray out, missing Steve by a hair. He jumps back.

“HEY!” he shouts. “Not cool dude, not in my uniform!”

“Wimp,” you laugh, and push him forward, allowing him to get splashed. The kids cheer, and then Steve’s hands are on your arms, and he swings you around to get hit, too. You gasp at the freezing feeling on the back of your legs, but burst into laughter, trying to wrestle Steve back into the flow. This goes on for entirely too long before you suddenly realize that it probably isn’t a good look to be out here responding to a call and then partaking in the offense.

“Steve,” you say, and that’s all it takes for him to snap back into reality.

“This is fun and all,” he says, letting you go. “But we came to bust you, not join in.”

The curly haired boy turns the water off and Mike sets the hose down. Steve has a way with kids. He’s able to level with them and call them out at the same time. It’s pretty great to watch and it’s certainly something you admired him for.

“Who’s this?” the curly haired kid asks, grinning widely.

“Oh,” Steve says. “This is my partner, Y/N.”

“Do you get to carry a gun?”

“Lucas!”

“Sorry!”

“You hang out with Steve? That must suck,” the dark-haired boy, Mike, says.

“Every single day,” you say solemnly. “It’s the worst.”

“Hey,” Steve says quietly.

“I’m kidding, bud.” You punch his arm lightly. “You’re the best.”

You look back at the kids and they’re all staring at you with wide eyes. It makes you uncomfortable, so you clear your throat and say, “Well, uh – shift is almost over. We should be going.”

After an awkward farewell and another “please be quiet or I’ll kick your ass” from Steve, you both get in the patrol car. Steve sees Dustin gesture to call him, and he rolls his eyes, pulling out of the driveway.

“Why did they look at me like that?” you ask. “Because I said you’re the best?” You pause. “Do they hate you?”

He’s quiet for a while. Finally, he says, “I think it’s because we are really buddy-buddy but… I don’t really… I haven’t ever really… talked about you.”

You turn in your seat to face him. “Do you hate me?”

“Of course I don’t hate you.” His cheeks are red – he’s flustered. “You’re one of my best friends –“

“Then why don’t you ever talk about me? Or hang out with me?”

“It’s complicated,” he sighs. “It’s really complicated. I just – I don’t like … I get nervous about having new friends.”

You nod slowly. “Tommy H. and Carol.”

“Yeah.” It’s not really why he’s nervous, but it’s a good excuse. “I don’t want to get dicked over again.”

“Man,” you say, turning back to face the road. “I buy you a blueberry danish every single Monday. And a coffee. And I let you sing Queen at the top of your lungs, and I let you dance, and sometimes I even let you do it at 5 in the morning. I think if I didn’t want to be your friend, you would know by now.”

He’s quiet, thinking. You look at him, trying to read him.

“I guess I owe you the pleasure of hanging out with me,” he says after a while, a smile forming. “So maybe we can hang out Friday night.”

You gasp and throw your arm out, hitting him on the shoulder, making the car swerve slightly.

“Jesus –”

“Do you mean it?” you shout, smiling widely. “We can hang out?”

“I said maybe,” he teases. “It’s board game night with the kids – maybe you can come?”

You start chanting his name – “Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve! Really? Are you for real?”

“Yes!” He laughs and rolls his eyes again. “I’ll pick you up. It starts at 7.”

You smile so hard that your cheeks hurt.

Steve silently hopes he doesn’t regret this.

----

taglist (message if you want to join!): @harrington-ofhawkins​ @wolfish-willow​ @gothackedalready​

[hotel-japanifornia]

Like, I love Miles Edgeworth, but he's overshadowing literally everyone else. Like he's not overrated since he actual holds up to his love, but damn, there are so many fics on him and his story from the og trilogy only. Miles has grown up beyond it and I love him for it since it makes him three dimensional.

Ok, you wanna know what greatly amuses me about you mentioning how people only pay attention to him and his story from the og trilogy only?

Edgeworth plays an important role in 4 of the 5 cases in the original game (3 of 4 if you really hate RFTA and want to exclude it from your mind. Feel free to do so but you’ll be hella frustrated when you play AJ. Unless you liked Ema.)

He only appears in 1 of the four cases in JFA and is mentioned in 2 and cameos in 1. If you don’t count the cameo, which I do, that only adds up to 1 case. Comparatively a small role, but he has a big impact on Franziska’s motivations and is the reason she wants to crush Phoenix so badly. Points to Takumi for not doing a generic “avenge my father” plot. Respect him (and Franziska) for that. He does play an extremely important role in the one case he appears in, so don’t think I’m trying to downplay him or anything.

Edgeworth is majorly absent in the third game. He prosecutes in only one case and that’s his annoying 20 year old self. He comes back in the fifth case to fill in for the defense and does play a hand in Iris and Dahlia switching places. Had it not been for that earthquake, he wouldn’t have freaked out and lost sight of Iris in the first place. He doesn’t do a whole lot else after that though. 

I say this because if you think about it, Edgeworth is only in 7 of the original 14 cases if you count physical appearances only (6 out of 13 in the OG trilogy). While I won’t argue that Edgeworth isn’t important in the cases he’s in because he is totally, I will argue that it does feel odd how the focus is on him so much of the time.

And the thing is, I can see how people would argue how Edgeworth is the central character in the first game. Edgeworth is the character we see grow throughout the course of the game. We learn the most about him than any other character and the events of the game revolve around him (Turnabout Goodbyes, the DL-6 incident, etc) more than other characters besides Maya who shares a connection with him as they both lost parents to the DL-6 incident (how have those two not had more interactions, honestly?) and loses her sister in the second case.

I would argue however, that Edgeworth isn’t the character at the center of the second game although we do see him mentioned in conversations by Franziska and Phoenix. I don’t know why people will acknowledge his “Miles Edgeworth chooses death” note but absolutely refuse to acknowledge how awful of a move that was. The reason being is that it was cryptically worded and anybody reading it would think he killed himself which Franziska and Phoenix did, while Gumshoe was the only one who knew what really happened. I know what the note actually meant (i.e. the death of the prosecutor Edgeworth once was) but still, it was poorly worded. 

In actuality, Phoenix is the protagonist and central character of the second game. He’s the one who goes through the most growth as we see him face a huge moral dilemma in the fourth case where he has to choose between saving his friend or sending a truly guilty man to prison. It’s absolutely interesting to see him in conflict with the character he was up to that point (someone who believed his client was genuinely innocent) and it’s something I think needs to happen more often. By that I mean, defending truly guilty defendants. While I don’t think they should be like Matt Engarde necessarily, it would be interesting to see more truly guilty defendants. (I know there’s one in DGS but not everyone has played that one so I won’t spoil.)

As for the third game, it’s pretty obvious who the main protagonist in that game is. It’s the Fey Clan obviously. Specifically, we learn more about Mia Fey, Phoenix’s mentor, through getting to play as her during the tutorial case and the other tutorial case both of which are short but help us get to know Phoenix’s wise and calm mentor. We see her during her first two cases and even get to witness her taking down Dahlia Hawthorne in an amazingly cool manner (by asking her to prove her innocence by taking Phoenix’s cold medicine which she poisoned). We also see her during her first case which was mentioned in Turnabout Memories and was said to traumatize her so badly that she felt like she was never going to step into court again. Since her opponent, Bratworth, had never lost a case before Turnabout Sisters, we know that the case won’t end well. But even so, it’s what actually happens that makes the case so gutwrenching. Seeing Terry Fawles kill himself on the stand to protect his former girlfriend who was the true killer makes for a saddening end. Regardless of what you think of him as a character, seeing Mia so distraught over not being able to prevent Fawles’ death tugs at your heartstrings. 

What’s even worse is that six months later, she loses her boyfriend when he gets poisoned by Dahlia. Which does raise an interesting question: did she see the case against Wright and take it because she saw Dahlia mentioned in the case files and thought she might be connected to it? It’s likely, seeing as she brought the article talking about Diego’s poisoning with her but who knows? Either way, seeing her so determined to take Dahlia down that she’s willing to have her badge revoked is sincerely cool to watch.

And even in the present day case that Dahlia appears in, Bridge to the Turnabout, Mia doesn’t stop being rivals with Dahlia. When Maya channels Mia to ask her what she should do after Dahlia attacks her, Mia advises her to lock herself up in the Sacred Cavern in the Inner Temple and channel Dahlia in order to protect herself. It’s an extremely risky move on Mia’s part and had Dahlia not been so stubborn in seeing Maya’s corpse for herself without considering that she might be channeling her, Maya could have died of hypothermia in there (which isn’t something I had considered until the last year or so). Still, it works out in the end and Iris and Dahlia-in-Maya’s-body switch places during the second investigation period. Mia then proceeds to exorcise Dahlia out of Maya’s body with Phoenix’s help:

Dahlia: …Grr…Mmm…Nnnn… Grrr… Ahh! M… M… Mia F… F… Fey Mia Fey! Mia Fey! MIA FEEEEY! You… You… spinster!! I was supposed to kill Maya Fey like I swore I would! And if only you had gotten this spiky-haired jerk the guilty verdict… …I wouldn’t have been hanged to death!

Mia: …… True.

Dahlia: …!

Mia: But I think you finally understand, Dahlia Hawthorne. …You will never defeat me.

Dahlia: Wh-What…!? What did you say!?

Mia: Whether you’re alive, dead, or somewhere in between, you will never defeat me. As long as I’m around, you’re destined to lose for all of eternity!

Dahlia: Grrr… Grrrr… Grrrrr…

Phoenix: …I remember what you said earlier in the trial. You said there was no way we could punish you… …because you were already dead.

Dahlia: What about it!?

Phoenix: Then you said… “Even when the body dies, the spirit, the ego, it lives on… forever.”

Mia: …That’s very true, Dahlia. And that’s exactly the punishment you’ll never be able to escape from.

Dahlia: …!

Mia: For all of eternity, you’ll have to remain as Dahlia Hawthorne. A miserable, pathetic, weak creature who can never win at anything… And for you, there is no escape from that. No hope of freedom. Since the day you were executed… …the narrow bridge that once stretched out in front of you has burnt to a crisp!

This causes Dahlia to freak out and pop out of Maya’s body with a extremely loud scream. It’s extremely chilling and awesome at the same time. 

One thing that stands out though, is that defeating Dahlia never stops being Mia’s personal victory as Godot mentions later on.

Godot: The woman who had spiked my scalding hot coffee… Dahlia Hawthorne! Ha…! Good ol’ Mia. She didn’t let me down. She got her revenge before she checked out. In the end… There wasn’t anyone waiting for me when I woke up.

In a way, the way that Mia Fey and Diego Armando go about taking revenge against Dahlia serves an interesting contrast to each other. Mia, although angry at Dahlia for sure, never let her anger consume her when trying to take her revenge on Dahlia. The only thing that Mia sought out to do was to make sure that she received justice for her crimes and upon finally getting Dahlia convicted of murder, moved on with her life. Mia even took Phoenix under her wing, despite his past connection to Dahlia. Even though he really had nothing to do with her crimes and even was supposed to be one of her victims, you can’t help but admire her for that.

On the other hand, Diego Armando never let his hatred of Dahlia Hawthorne go. Even after waking up from his coma and realizing that Mia had gotten revenge for him and got her sentenced to death. He was so blinded by hatred that upon encountering her at the Inner Temple Garden, he stabbed her with the cane sword, killing Misty Fey in the process. And unlike Mia, Diego hated Phoenix and even blamed him for Mia’s death. There’s also a line that suggests that he knew that Phoenix was the one that inadvertently helped Dahlia hide the bottle necklace containing the poison:

Godot: …… I never liked you. Six years ago… …you helped the woman who put me to sleep by hiding her bottle of poison. 

It’s an interesting line, indeed, and implies that Diego’s hatred of Phoenix went beyond Mia’s murder. Because Phoenix “hid” the bottle of poison, Dahlia was never able to be caught for Diego’s poisoning and thus escaped justice. In summary, Mia was able to move on with her life after Dahlia got caught while Diego wasn’t which ended up being his downfall.

I can also see how some people might make a case for Maya going through development of her own throughout Trials and Tribulations. During the second and third case, we see her express doubts about her own abilities as a spirit medium and it’s implied that she’s still shaken up by the murder in Kurain Village to the point that she hasn’t even returned to the village in a while:

Maya: Well, I’m kind of taking a break… I’m having a bit of trouble right now, you know?

Phoenix: (Last year’s incident must still be on her mind… I haven’t seen Maya train at all since then. I think Mia said it’s because Maya’s “at a loss these days”…)

It’s an interesting line, and is definitely one that people seem to overlook while playing through the game. Despite her lack of training however, Maya is still able to channel Mia during the last portion of the Stolen Turnabout. The conversation the two of them have reveals that Maya is going through a dilemma currently.

Mia: I’m just joking, Phoenix. Don’t take everything so seriously. But on the other hand, Maya… She seems kind of lost these days.

Phoenix: You mean about becoming the Master of the Kurain Channeling School?

Mia: Becoming the Master… means saying goodbye to our mother.

Phoenix: You mean Misty Fey…?

Mia: …Watch over her, will you Phoenix?

One thing I find interesting though, is that Maya’s dilemma about becoming the Master isn’t overly prevalent in dialogue. Sure it’s a part of what she goes through over the course of the game but it doesn’t take a huge focus. It’s certainly unique. Here’s one such example in Recipe for Turnabout 

Armstrong: You ‘ave la perfect face for a waitress, you know.

Maya: Um, thanks. I guess if things don’t work out someday, then maybe I’ll be back.

Phoenix: (What things? Is she talking about her being a spirit medium…?)

I honestly appreciate it for it’s subtlety; little character moments like this one, is what adds to the replay value of the games. True, you can just breeze through them, but taking the time to present random things to people can also reveal tons of interesting dialogue that can reveal more about the characters than if you were to do a regular playthrough and do what you need to do to progress further through the case.

All of this culminates in the last case when Maya goes to Hazakura Temple with Pearl and Phoenix to do some training which as mentioned before, she hasn’t really done much of since the Kurain Channeling incident. And unfortunately for her, it ends in disaster with her nearly being murdered by the ghost of her cousin, Dahlia and also witnessing Godot stab the spirit to death which kills her mother in the process.

When we first see Maya in the last trial portion of Bridge to the Turnabout, she’s more traumatized than we’ve ever seen her. And through this line, we get to see how she feels about the Kurain Channeling Technique in her current situation:

Maya: … I… I’m frightened. The Fey clan… I don’t want any more to do with it.

Now, let’s think about what this line means. Maya has dealt with a horrible amount of tragedy in her young life due to her heritage. She lost her mother, her sister left the village partly because she didn’t want to feud with Maya over the title of Master; her aunt plotted to have her convicted for murder and later tried to murder her through her beloved cousin, Pearl; and the one time that she decides to start training again, another tragedy occurs. Her mother was killed right in front of her by a man who was blinded by hatred towards the spirit possessing her body. It’s hard not to see why Maya would not want anything to do with her heritage after all the grief it caused her, so then, why does Maya decide to inherit the title of Master anyway?

Well, here’s the deal: The Fey Clan is extremely screwed up and has caused many of its members grief over the past two years. It’s no secret that the branch family has plotted against the main family before and has done so throughout its history:

Bikini: There is only one heir to the title of “Master” at any time, and it’s usually the eldest. That child becomes the new Master of Kurain, and her daughters, the main family. All other mediums become branch family members, with no hope of controlling the clan. That’s why nothing has changed throughout the history of the clan… Branch families always have and always will plot to erase those of the main family line.

However, Pearl doesn’t hold any sort of resentment towards Maya despite her being the heir to the title of Master. In fact, Pearl adores Maya and vice versa. The only reason she ever went with Morgan’s plan was because she thought by “It’s for the good of the Fey Clan” that her mother meant that her plan would benefit Maya and Pearl both. Maya similarly doesn’t hold any resentment towards Pearl  when she tries to blame herself for the death of Maya’s mother.

If you think about it, the fact that Maya stays and decides to become Master could also considered to be not only a result of her strength but a result of her deciding to fix the screwed up legacy of the Fey clan. As two of the people hurt most by the rivalry between the main family and the branch family, Maya and Pearl could work together to fix their family’s screwed up background and restore the Fey clan to its former glory. That’s the way I see it anyway.

Sorry for my long rant there, the Fey clan is very interesting to me. Honestly though, I’d argue that Edgeworth is more like a tritagonist. He’s extremely important at first but he becomes relatively less important over the course of the trilogy to the point that he’s only ever in one case in his present day form in the last part.

Maya is more or less the deutragonist of the games. She’s in 10 of the 14 cases in the trilogy and 6 of those cases (1-2, 1-4, 2-2, 2-4, 3-2, and 3-5) have her involved majorly in the plot whether it be her being accused of murder, dealing with her and her family history, or kidnapped (in which we get to control her too!). While she isn’t involved in the plots of 1-3 or 2-3 directly, she is the person who convinces Phoenix to take both cases and she even helps Phoenix out in the latter by raising the question of where Max’s bust is located which helps him catch Acro as the true murderer.

However, despite Maya’s overall importance to the trilogy, what stops her from being the main protagonist like Phoenix is that we don’t get to go into her head very often. We see Phoenix react to the situations around him, we get to see his thoughts while dealing with crazy witnesses and when he’s having a difficult time trying to prove something in court. Through this, we get to know Phoenix and in a sense, feel like we can connect with him. Even Edgeworth gets to be played during the first investigation and trial day of Bridge to the Turnabout where like Phoenix, we get to go inside his head and see how he thinks and how he feels about what’s going on around him.

With Maya, the time that we do get to control her in 2-4 is extremely short and doesn’t exactly allow us to get into her head. That’s not a point against her however as we do see her react to what’s going on when we aren’t in control of her. It makes sense that it would be extremely short though, as Maya is currently kidnapped when we do control her and the areas you can have her go aren’t very numerous. 

Still as much as I argue that Phoenix fits the central character and protagonist mold more than Edgeworth and Maya do, I believe that all three characters are important in their own unique ways.

[bookishbea]

Black Friday Reaction

Okay so I’ll be live tweeting Black Friday but none of it will have any sense to it but it’ll just be my reactions

1. The Paul thing is really bothering me

2. I really love the mention of the other characters

3. If Jane is mention is the story about the mom mentioned some more

4. Is the delivery man ted (cause he’s also a sleazeball

5. It’s weird seeing Cory not play a pure bean

6. I love California MIA

7. The little sister (Im sorry I’m bad at names) I self project as autistic and she something else idk

8. Did anyone else noticed Robert’s Australian accent come out?

9. Like I said this is out of order so yeah but I personally think the second song in the show was very shocking as I’m not used to very serious starkid songs

10. When Robert gestures smoking i think its lowkey a refrence to the smoke club

11. I have a crush on lex

12. I love Lauren’s charecter so much

13. I love the name linda becuase it could be like a karen without using that name

14. Not to get poltical but i choose to belive they made an antivax joke

15. Also the marvel nerd in me loves the name becky barnes

16. I know its probaly not on purpose but joeys charecters costume in line looks like the homeless guy’s one

17. Jaimey is great as always

18. The conversation is so cringe i love it

19. I kinda hope torture porn is a fanfic refrence (i know most people would want me to say spies are forever but nope)

20. I love Lauren but shouldnt her accent be included when she sings

21. I love Jeff’s reaction

22. I may get some hate for this but what was bothering me in tgwdlm and i notice in starkid is lack of fan comments in the captions

23. As a theatre fan i love the toy zone song (i am not sure if thats the right name) espcially the do wop becuase it reminds me of older musicals

24. Also since i watched tgwdlm and black friday a day apart its weird to come from songs happening because they are infected to songs happening cause its a musical

25. i love the love the line we are not relaibly to anyone who dies becuase they clearly show in the trailer that someone will die (this is not a spoiler if you watch the trailer for Black Friday)

26. I love Corey but when he dances i notice a bulge (i am not a perv he makes it very obvious)

27. So i rewinded it to make sure i wanst going crazy and realized something as lex says the pepper spray line. She would be good as janis ian

28. I love the touch money part its so cute even if its not supposed to be

29. Jaime plays a perv really well

30. I love Jon’s charecter its hilarious

31. Also i love jon and lauren interactions so it was cool seeing them together not as paul and emma

32. I love seeing more of Jon because although hes reaally good at playing paul paul doesnt have any flavor and its cool seeing jon do something diffrent

33. Jeff’s fuck you

34. Okay I was right it was the homeless guy and i bet the money is paul’s money

35. And this is not a sterotpye as i am jewish myself but i bet Laurens charecter is jewish

36. Its sad that the price thing is true

37. So i am a theatre fan and do not watch got but that music kinda reminds me of got

38. Cant tell if jeff’s charecter is gay and a perv or just a perv (i realzie this could be mmisinterpreted as homophobic i just mean to say that jamie’s charecter just seems like a full out perv where as i cant tell with jeff’s)

39. Obviously you shouldnt be that insane but i do like the lines about how you are in charge of life and dont care about what others think. its goood life advice

39. Looks like Paul’s boss got his wish

40. They are all idiots for holding up the doll when everyone wants to get it

41. Corey’s charecter is like shit, money isnt that imporant

42. Becky why are you a part of this you have moral high ground (yes i am ignorning the fact that cast usually join in dance numbers even if their charecter isnt a part of it)

43. Shouldnt tom get ptsd (see above)

44. Lex you already have one (see above)

45. So i may be overthinking things but how curt says never should settle is in the tune of spies are forever

46. Is it just me or did anyone else notice when the security guard comes in the tune of show me your hands comes in

47. I dont know why but i do love soft bullies because hes like hey im punching you but only for the kid

48. Some may say its schizo or something hannah has but its anxiery or something from how shes expressing it

49. I feel like hannah has a superpower and can tell whats happening

50. Maybe webby is actually wiggly

51. Baby (both hannah and robert)

52. Please tell me my babies not dead

53. Jon’s eee is adorable and silly

54. Wait hes alive

55. Wait no hes dead, im sad liek starkid is supposed to be fun and happy this is the darkest star kid yet. Even oregon deaths were silly

56. I love starkid but this is making me anxious i cant tell if its good anxious or bad anxious

57. Also i relate to the black and white thing not fully but liek whenever i dont feel well sometimes my brain is overstimulating but only in my head its very hard to explain 

58. Also i think sometimes kids on the spectrum and im not an expert but i do have it kind of make a friend in their head and i do that too sometimes just to give me advice

59. Also i hope they dont get rid of the black and white as sometimes people go more crazy without the figurative voice in their head

60. Like i said this is going to be random order so i like that emma adopted paul;s Okay and no im not making a tfios refrence

61. Poor Tim

62. Poor becky but even less

63. i thought they were supposed to be mad at g-d but in this and tgwdlm they like g-d

64. I cant tell the other pins on joey’s jacket but the first two i notice are mr wiggly and paul

65. I love Lauren’s acting you can see the very sublte sadness in her

66. Lauren and Joey together ahhhh

67. I know its probaly not a big deal but they should give a seziure warning before the tv scene

68. Did they reuse curts spies are forever outfit

69. Really starkid the obama refrence seriously, i cant tell if im mad or laughing 

70. How did Bob get one

71. I do realize they are talking irl but i cant help but wonder if the nazis were a spies are forever refrence

72. Does wiggly have a special power or something 

73. I think its similar to the metero the closer you are the more power it has over you

74. The starkid special effects we all know and love

75. Also is that mcnamara

76. Also maybe shooting it (the doll) does the same thing that shooting the affceted does. Give them no power

77. I cant tell what the music reminds me of exactly but the tune does kinda refrence a diffrent star kid song

78. Jeff looks so proud of himself for the peeps line

79. I love the purposeful i presume reuse of lines

80. Is peip like men in black

81. Also hatchetfield kind of reminds me of night vale

82. Is the black and white like the upside down?

83. I wonder if the point was purposeful since someone was filming or just choreographed

84. Yes Jon Singing!!!!!

85. I love the act two opener

86. Did his parents really name him christmas?!?

87. Oh hes literally related to santa

88. I love lauren and joey as eleves

89. Noel another christmas name

90. Isnt the little dance move like a genie move or something

91. Its so cute that she insitincitvely went to their seats

92. Also carving is goals

93. Even though its a penis its still goals

94. I know what you are, say it, santa clause

95. Tom dont yell at your girl

96. Poor Tom

97. But also dont make this about you

98. They probaly werent the head of the school since they were nice, i am sorry but thats true

99. Yass girl fight his ass

100. Also the theatre kid in me is picturing all that jazz

101. he ran into my knife he ran into my knife ten times

102. Yes Becky’s husband (i forget the name sue me) is bad but i feel like becky is more sinister then we realize

103. Becky’s line even if it isnt meant to be is so funny

104. The girl who plays Becky could play Barbara

105. I love how Joey and Lauren look into the camera

106. Jamie saying santa awww such a pure bean

107. The person in the wiggly onsie is goals

108. Matrix glasses for the win

109. Is wilbur a refrence to Charelots Web?

110. Its a cult a cult of wiggly

111. I feel like Sherman young is around 30-40

112. I love how its mommy to sound less pervy

113. Oh wait never mind Linda is mom

114. Shit thats fucked up they killed him

115. I am right a jew no non jew says mensch

116. To quote jared klienman kinky (shoe kiss scene)

117. Also i love this song the adore song

118. Why does them picking up Lauren give me Draco vibes

119. Wait he isnt dead?? im so confused

120. Wait he is dead???

121. Also ethan is creepy now

122. But Roberts expressions are goals

123. Robert your proffesor hidgens is showing

124. What the how does he know her name

125. Savage Wiggly

126. Wiggly is more funny than scary

127. But my poor baby dont be scared

128. What the fuck tom

129. Also poor baby number two

130. At first you think becky is made about him hurting a child but no its about the doll

131. What the fuck Becky

132. Also I wonder if thats the same serum that Hidgens used

133. Tom yelling at the audince is hilarious

134. Also Becky singing is giving me little shop vibes

135. Becky are you drunk or something you so stupid

136. But yayy my baby doesnt get hurt

137. More starkid special effects

138. Also the lighting nod to tgwdlm

139. Also why did they take my baby (see i told you random)

140. So the perv is wiggly

141. Also if he can appear in regular formation on earth why does he need to be the doll

142. Oh wait never mind he explains it

143. Joey talking to the audience and making them hold the apple is goals

144. I love Joey’s song

145. MIA = Missing in Action = Made in America

146. Wait im wrong Joey cant be Wiggly unless he has super powers he cant be in two places at once

147. I know they dont mean sex but still wtf

148. Lauren looks so done i cant

149. Seziure warning after mr presidnet leaves the black and white

150. Unless it was purposeful they should have hidden the dolls better backstage

151. Wait didnt hannah say something about two doors earlier?

152. Seriously Sherman ponies

153. I love the going back line

154. My poor baby lex

155. No Lex dont die not you too

156. Haha throwback to tgwdlm

157. Yes baby you got the gun

158. Also die perv die

159. Eagle screeching is goals

160. Yes lex use that logic

161. Also it makes sense only the adults can be brainwashed

162. There were only adults no children, scary (not sarcastic i promise)

163. Seriously starkid Fortnight

164. Thats why you should never fully grow up

165. Woah what Lex says is deep

166. Yessss Tom

167. Wait Tom dont hold the gun

168. Wait is Charolette alive or just a reuse of costume, if so why would they have jaimie wear it

169. No dont take her magic hat

170. Haha stupid hats cant be magic only dolls obviously

171. Does lauren say something like fucking knife in another show too?

172. Lauren screaming gives me my father will hear about this vibes

173. Also give my baby her hat back

174. Yass Lauren get it girl (i do realize shes playing the villian but still)

175. Yass Robert get it

176. Even though shes a viilain i dont like seeing Lauren get killed

177. But also how did they get the bullet wound on her so quick im impressed

178. Haha the way Gary stops everything to talk to gerald is goals

179. Like hes like oh shit money

180. And then hes like oh wait i have to pretend to care

181. I love how exagerated their dying is

182. Thats an impressive quick change

183. Yess Emma Hidgens

184. But also no hell fuck up again

185. Also Paul interupting is goals

186. Haha hannah you go girl

187. First off I love the song

188. Song off Hannah’s voice

189. Is paul scared normal or because of the hive

190. Wait all the tgwdlm charecters are back like nothing happened im confused

191. Haha the Hatchfield band is back

[ayankun]

GOTHAM

insanely rambley HUGE spoiler-ridden seasons 1-4 thoughts under cut

FIRST OFF LET ME TELL YOU I GOT CHILLS

Secondly, let’s think back to how I felt about season one.  A little loose in the narrative, not so much weaving threads as having threads, ones that you keep expecting to pull tight but more often than not just get dropped for other, shinier threads.  All leading to a surprisingly effective character-driven season finale that hopes to prove to you that a few meandering plot points can still add to a sum greater than the parts.

(Oswald goes from umbrella boy to King of Gotham, Bruce Wayne starts at the site of his parents’ murder and ends up taking his first steps into the Batcave, Jim enters as this black-and-white idealist and winds learning from a mob boss that even good men sometimes get their hands dirty to get the job done.  A socially awkward unrecognized genius has a psychic break, leading ultimately to the fall of Edward Nygma and the rise of the Riddler.)

Season two is a blur.  A period of transition from Jim “Good Cop” Gordon Fistfighting Corruption into... Gotham City: Arkham Asylum’s Backyard.  Think how much season one was about only Fish Mooney vs Falcone vs the GCPD and Cobblepot doublecrossing everyone he meets, and how much seasons two and three and four were about the Riddler and Valeska and Tetch and Ra’s al Ghul (and Valeska).  We have the bring-everyone-back-to-life at Indian Hill period to thank for the sudden left turn into the Strange.

WHICH IS NOT A COMPLAINT.

There are so many types of Batman stories, and there’s a time and a place for both Joe Chill and Killer Croc.  Gotham started in one and always knew it was headed for the other.

And B.D. Wong as Strange is a DELIGHT and I really appreciated his dynamic with Miss Peabody.  Speaking of, the bomb defusing scene was a real gem omg lololol give the woman some damn water already.

At the same time, the Fish storyline was like WHOA what EVEN is haPPENINg at any given moment.  And it ultimately didn’t amount to much?  There’s so much waffling between the surviving gang camps where everyone’s either got a kill-on-sight order or a owed-life-debt to each other and the pendulum swings back and forth so quickly it’s not really worth holding onto how anyone feels about anyone else.  That dead/MIA character will come back or the rivalry will be revived or the long-held grudge will be recalled if and when that plot point is going to be drafted, but other than that everyone’s friends and that’s ok.

And like.  Ivy??? Ivy Pepper???????  Why is that ride so wild???  There is no cause and effect, only next next next.  It’s insane.  Maybe watching this all at once rather than over the course of four years lends a different perspective, but holy cow.  Such a ballsy way to do whatever with a character you never had a plan for.

Which brings us to Barbara Kean?!  Season one she was there because they knew she was a Mythos Character but then they were like, wait, whateven is she for though?  Which is a fair question, since having her be the Little Lady Trophy Fiance meant she was a boring and needless character wasting space, not standing on her own and hardly informing Jim’s character either.  So what to do, what to do.  How about we kidnap her, put her through some insanely cruel physical and psychological abuse, make her a psycho-revenge-bride, put her in a coma, have her come back as a 100% Arkham Villain, give her a hench(wo)man, have the henchman KILL HER, have Ra’s al Ghul waltz up out of literally nowhere and say “lol, borrow this arcane mojo for a minute, I’ll want it back later or will I” and now she’s a kingpin of Gotham’s underworld with her own mini League of Assassin?!!!!!!!   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like.  Even if they never had a plan going into it, I’m pretty okay with most of what they came up with.  Better than the lil wifey hanging out at home and having one passing remark about curating a gallery that we never saw and was never mentioned again.

Better off a once-crazy, once-dead mafiosa than the less inspired handling of Miss Kringle.  I won’t even get into that trainwreck I-only-exist-to-validate-manpain-of-my-murderer wait I said I wasn’t going to get into it.

So Nygma!  Like I said when I got started with the show, the season one Edward Nygma was crafted as this painfully unsympathetic offbeat loser and I think they fully succeeded with that characterization.  The emergence of the Riddler persona was a welcome change, an upgrade, a spit-shine into something clean cut and confident and stylish.  But I like that, compared to the Penguin, the posterchild for evil-psychotic-villain!Protaganist, for example, they held on to a lot of Nygma’s unlikeablilty in that he’s still an ass, even more of an insufferable egoist, and SO CRAZY he can’t even read himself (which was a big thing about the character before he split in half, so in itself that’s pretty great).

I don’t know.  Maybe you like him and I’m supposed to like him.  I think he’s exactly what he ought to be, and while I'd never want to see him marched off a peer with a bullet in his back, I’m more than happy to see his fellow villain-Protagonists knock him around once in a while.  Penguin and Mooney and now Lee (?!) and Zsasz even are the kind of villan!Protagonist you really root for.  But if it’s any one of them vs. the Riddler, they’re definitely not going to lose.  Nygma’s like in his own category of villain!Protagonist Antagonist.

Of course, the post-Arkham-proto-Riddler who was running Oswald’s mayoral campaign, now HOT DAMN that was a storyline I could get behind.  I almost actually believed they were going to do something great in the Nygmobblepot arena and that was a magical moment.  I think the resulting blood feud, as painful of a 360 as they come, was a sounder storytelling decision and more in line with the show’s Schroedinger’s Frenemies mentality.

And his season four storyline with the Ed Nygma persona challenging the Riddler was a nice full circle.  Sort of closing the gap between this raging banana nutball and the razor-sharp criminal mastermind he could be if tried.  Not SUPER THRILLED with his creeping on Lee but, with all due respect, that’s par for the character so again I say I don’t think I’m meant to like him??

I just spent half this rant on the Riddler so I guess they’re doing something right.

Ok so Cameron Monaghan’s VALESKA TWINS.  Let’s get right into it, shall we.

Holy smokes they did everything right on this one.  Loved the Primal Fear treatment of his introduction, and the way this random circus kid just so happens to start displaying jokey traits that astute viewers will start to suspect that this could be the big bad we’ve all been waiting for --

and then they kill him.

WOW

I was so ready for this kid to grow up to be the Joker, and they rip that dream away and replace it with an idea that anyone can grow up to be the Joker, and damn if that isn’t the nicest treatment of the character’s fractured and obfuscated origin story.  But.  THEN!

THEY BRING HIM BACK and it’s everything you wanted him to be.  He’s just so good.  There’s just the right amount of (IMO, anyway) Hamill-homage in what is otherwise a fully imagined Character who is instantly recognizable as one of many iterations but at the same time outclasses them all.  The high-level narrative and dialogue stuff, the stuff they create for him to do, I mean, is all great.  And then Monaghan brings this manic A++ game to the table and blows it out of the water.  Best Joker performance?  Arguably so, especially when you consider

JEREMIAH VELASKA because this kid can’t stop having stellar Joker performances.  He’s like, two and a half, three of the best Joker performances on the books.  Jeremiah’s distinct visual style, the characterization, AGAIN with the obfuscated we-are-legion origin story hocow.  NO COMPLAINTS HERE.

Anyway so if that’s what we get in return for sending Fish Mooney through a narrative meat grinder, then I guess it’s an even trade.

Pengiun.  What to say about Penguin.  I loved what they gave him in season two, a ton of character stuff because his plot stuff of rags to riches had played itself out.  I felt real bad for his mom, but I really liked that he went and made himself mayor, and even while his story arcs tend to go riches to rags and back again, it’s never not a pleasure watching him claw his way up to where he thinks he ought to be.

For the most part they do a good job stringing together these different Protagonist story-groups, keeping in mind that most of these groups serve mainly as antagonists amongst themselves (when they’re not being buddy-buddy to serve some winding end).  So when you get the villain!Antagonists you can really tell the difference.  I got a little yawny while we were setting up Fries, and by the time we finally locked Tetch up for good I was very grateful.  These will never be main characters and the show knows it and wants you to know it, too.  So while they’re the main on-screen villain, it can get a little stale because the same effort isn’t being put into their lasting appeal.

Um.  Jim Gordon.  Another thing I liked about season four was a strong return to GCPD bidniss.  Season two there was a lot of GCPD, but with Captain Barnes and the strike force and Galavan, so it was a completely different narrative animal than what Gordon was throwing down with in season one.  Then Gordon goes to prison and after that he doesn’t go back to GCPD until well into season three, and by then the story’s about Mario and Tetch and Lee and omg I forgot about Valerie Vale until this very moment whoops.

As was hinted in the season one finale, Jim Gordon went on a very twisty path through the mud before he figured himself out again.  Killing Galavan was like WHAT JIMBOY and that wasn’t even the worst of it.  What I liked most about his stint as a PI was the character’s eventual acceptance that the law isn’t the be all and end all of righteousness, and that there are other means available when enforcing peace and justice.  Not necessarily by killing every evil mayor you come across with your own two hands, but the eye-opening to the virtues of vigilantism is super important when you realize he’s going to be Batman’s main ally down the line and this time in his life is going to be what ultimately allows the future police commissioner to legitimize this kind of shadowy ninja behavior.

Anyway, in season four, Jim kind of comes back to roost at the GCPD, and finally ousting Bullock as Captain was rough but obviously warranted, and with only one season left that was a good time to do it.  Harper was a nice addition and I’d like to see more of her as a standalone character.  (Similarly, Fox has fit in nicely with the cops, but I’m not overly hankering to see more of his day to day antics.) 

What was my real point?  I really liked the Gordon vs the GCPD dynamics of season one, and while obviously that’s not a story you can tell forever, it did inform the sense that the police force is a living entity that can serve you very well if it trusts you, but before that can happen you really have to jump on its back and break its will LOL.

Also, remember Renee Montoya and Harvey Dent?  Yeah, I don’t either.

SO BRUCE WAYNE, MY FRIENDS.

Gotham is my very most favorite Bruce Wayne story, and much as Batman: TAS is my forever-reference for most Batmany things, Gotham is going to be my heart-canon for Bruce Wayne origins.

It’s one thing to say, “ok so this rich kid watches his parents get murdered in an alley, and from this moment on he vows to do something about it and makes himself a master detective/martial artist who puts on a mask and a cape and runs around at night smashing thugs’ heads in for justice” like it’s a foregone conclusion, a straight-forward A-to-B process, and a wholly other thing to show us, step by step, how he learns to become the thing we all know he’s going to become.

In season one he was this quiet, morose but driven child who didn’t know what to do with this crisis he’d been handed.  He’s a kid who sits in a pool with his whole clothes on, trying to hold his breath for as long as possible because he has no idea how else to become better prepared for handling his issues.  But he has Selina and he has Alfred and he has Fox and he has Jim Gordon, and he will have the Court of Owls and the Valeskas and Ra’s al Ghul who will all play a part in handing him pieces of himself until he has a full set.

He started with this strong sense of right and wrong, a deeply seated desire to put his talents and his money to some sort of use, an earnest diligence towards bettering himself in all ways, and little by little he gets shown just how much of a fragile and defenseless baby he is.  That time Alfred accidentally-on-purpose clobbered him in the eye -- that was the moment Bruce found out they’d all been pulling their punches with him and that he still had so so so far to go.

Of course, at the particular moment, he was going through a well-earned rebel without a cause phase (which will do him well when he calls on those behaviors for the benefit of a wider audience), so I don’t think that realization hit him at the time.  BUT I NOTICED.  Sure he’s got a bulletproof suit and he can look Jim Gordon straight in the eye now and he can fling himself off rooftops like a champ (and when Alfred gave him the keys to the Batmobile I cried a little), but he’s no Batman.  Not yet.  Not quite yet.

But you can see without a shadow of a doubt that he’s gonna be!  Instead of this “Bruce Wayne woke up as Batman” story, we get a look at all the day by day choices and experiences that inform, shape, and depend on Bruce Wayne’s core identity and the way that they will collectively create Batman.

Now, David Mazouz may not have the character acting chops of a Pinkett-Smith or a Taylor or a Monaghan, and he may not be as comfortable living in a everyday character like Pertwee and Logue do so effortlessly, but there’s a steeliness a Bruce Wayne should have, a hauntedness, an idealistness, that Mazouz emotes in spades.  Sometimes his Bruce Wayne does a stunt or pulls a pose that Mazouz KNOWS is Batman territory, and while his awareness of “I’m doing a cool thing look at me doing it” is a little distracting--it’s also SUPER EFFECTIVE and I fall for it hook, line, and sinker.

I’ve always been one of those fans who’s way more interested in the lives and characters of the secret identities (compared to the heroics of the super identities) so hot diggity dog is this the show for me.  All Bruce Wayne all the time.  When we he does put on the mask, it’s all the more powerful for knowing who exactly is wearing it and what’s driving him to do these borderline insane things.

Not 100% sold on Ra’s’ “I saw this in a dream” strong-arm prophecy, feeling like it steps on four years of Bruce Wayne’s self-determination.  Not 100% on how they introduced him and his aims and his baffling reincarnation(s).  But I am 100% on the pronunciation of “Ra’s” because I’m aware that Kevin Conroy et al figured it out somewhere between TAS and Arkham Asylum, but it’s something that they never quite got in Arrow.  (Oliver consistently uses “raysh” but everyone else is a grab bag between that and “rawz”.)

For that matter, David Mazouz consistently pronounces Ra’s with two syllables, so there’s also that.  Wait, hold on.  In Gotham they also draw a hard line between Ra’s al Ghul, the man, and “the demon’s head,” some sort of mystical power of time travel and flashlightiness.  Give one point to Arrow for not being that bizarre.

Long story short, the shot at the finale where Gordon’s waiting on the GCPD rooftop with the spot light and Bruce Wayne stalks up behind him was BEAUTIFUL.  (They also did the thing some episodes earlier where Bruce peaces out on Gordon when Gordon’s mid-sentence with his back turned and I laughed a lot)

Looking forward to their take on No Man’s Land.  Here’s a short story for you at the end of this long story:

One time I was reading No Man’s Land volume by volume from the library.  It was tough because I checked the first time and they had the full set, but then you never knew that the next one was going to be available when you went in for it.

So I get out of the car one day and look there’s a quarter on the ground.  Neat.  It’s mine now!

Going into the library, there was a cart of used books for sale by the door.  25 cents each.  Hell, I’ve got a quarter now, let’s see what they got.

What they got is the No Man’s Land novelization.  For 25 cents, or, in my case, free.

So I read that instead, and turned out I liked it way better than the source comics.  I have a hard time reading comics?  I tend to not look at the pictures, and certain art styles aren’t my jam.  Also when it comes to narrative capabilities, there are different tools and effects inherent to each form, and I appreciated the literary treatment and the internal voice it brought to the table that the comics couldn’t.

Also the author said in the note that his method was to sit down and jam out minimum 2000 words a day and that’s still a feat I admire.

Anyway, that’s my long winded take on Gotham.  Not perfection, but certainly a respectable and authoritative representation of a subject matter we all know and love.  I give it my second favorite Batman portrayal (behind Kevin Conroy and above Adam West) and my absolute favorite live-action Bruce Wayne, hands down.

[cinnamonroll-duffy]

Keeps Pulling Me Back--Choices Creates Submission

This fic is for the Choices Creates Most Wanted prompt of @holly-park and @pb-choices as well as the Most Wanted Appreciation prompt of @thechrispowell.  

Summary: Samantha Massey leaves Texas to investigate a murder. Will she find herself at odds with Det. Reyes again?

Starring: Sam Massey, Ryan Summers, Dave Reyes...

Guest Starring: Brady Summers (Original Character), Mia Warren, Max Warren, and Brian Crandall.

(Gore Trigger)

“This better not be another invitation to an over the top movie premiere,” droned Samantha as soon as she received the call from her somewhat friend Ryan Summers. The opportunity to name drop a celebrity connection never appealed to Sam as much as others.

“Come on. Cheap mixed drinks, pretentious actors, and paparazzi. Definitely your thing, Sam.” Now, Ryan was fully aware of there being way any sort of romance would form between the two of them. Even then, Ryan Summers never failed to let out his flirtatious side, one that masked just how insecure he felt around a woman who could kick his ass both physically and mentally.

“I’ll give you one more chance to explain yourself for this call at 4 AM before I hang up.” Knowing exactly how Ryan acted, Sam often laid down the law with him, not that she wasn’t accustomed to doing that literally in her daily life.

“This actually isn’t a social call. My son Brady…” It was that moment that Sam softened. With all her misgivings about the playboy actor, Sam knew that Brady was the only sense of normalcy Ryan had in his chaotic life. “He’s distraught. His friend’s dad got murdered tonight, and I suspect it was one of the cultists you and Dave warned me about. Straight up someone attacked him while he was working in his study with this huge kitchen knife. Blood spattered everywhere, it was a nightmare. His own kids saw the attacker leap out of the window and escape.”

“Sound fun.I can’t take off work again. I’ve already used up a lot of my vacation days.” Not that it ever was a deterrent before, but Sam knew if she were to leave Texas again, she’d once again devote herself totally to whatever new cause was on the docket.

“Don’t worry about it. Are you forgetting I have money to throw around? I’ll help cover you for your time off.” Desperate to solve the crime, Ryan knew he could trust Samantha for anything after the way she risked her life bringing down a lunatic madman and an equally lunatic daughter.

It seemed like nothing was satisfying to this Deputy Marshal.  Having cracked the Tull case, she was content to settle back into her home in Texas, but something about the Golden State keeps pulling her back. Sure, there were crimes happening all over her home state, but even she admitted to herself: This call was everything she was waiting for and more.

“I’m on it.”

Arriving at a palatial home in a secluded gated community the night after she took a quick flight, Sam saw Dave seated on the couch with his tablet out taking notes while attempting to comfort the four teens seated on the couch facing Dave.

“Det. Reyes, we need to be getting answers, not having a tea party. So, someone answer me whose dad got shanked last night? The quicker we can get this done, the quicker we can find the bastard.” The four teenagers simply stared at Sam with glazed-over eyes.

“Massey, seriously? These are children here; have some sympathy for once in your life.” Dave already realised just how much he didn’t miss Sam’s eagerness in the way she approached her job.

“Alright, Mr. Smooth. Show me the way, then.” As soon as Sam sat right next to Dave, one of the four teenagers, a redhead by the name of Brian spoke up,

“Whoa, are you a cop or a porn star, because I’d tap that a…” he received a nudge on his side by the blonde girl with long wavy hair sitting next to him.

“You’re not going to talk to that old lady like that! She’s twice your age.” While Brian nursed the ache caused by the nudge, Samantha answered,

“While I agree with you, young Ma’am, cool it on the ‘old’. We have a case to investigate and we’d appreciate your cooperation and leave the derogatory comments for the playground.” To the side, Dave could barely contain his laughter at the inability of Sam to connect with the youths.

“Listen, Columbo, leave the questioning to me. Ever heard of the phrase ‘Bull in a China Shop’? Well, that’s you times a hundred right now.”  Raising his hand, Brady Summers, a shy boy with short brown hair looking quite the carbon copy of his dad, asked,

“Are you Samantha Massey? You’re the woman Dad was talking about. Don’t listen to my loud friends. We just saw Mia and Max’s dad lying all over the floor with guts spilling out and it was just the worst.” He went over to hug Sam. Not used to displays of affection, Sam just froze in place during the whole hugging ordeal.

“Yeah, you must be Brady. I came here because I’m gonna put whoever did this to justice, but you kids need to pull it together.” Comforting words were never Sam’s forte, but she thought it would show she wasn’t just a refrigerator when it came to dealing with people.  

The fourth teen, a blonde guy who seemed quite mature in looks for his age, was in the corner in tears. Dave approached him and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Now, I just want you to recall to me, Max, what exactly happened that night. Just know that my parents got murdered by some gangs growing up, so I know what it’s like.” Feeling a bit more settled in his emotions, Max cleared his throat and said,

“Who would do that to my dad? He gave millions of money to charity and he always cleaned up my mistakes when I’d screw up. He got mad at me for the prank on Berry High School and I was actually going to say sorry for what I did. After Brian and I came back home from eating out, we heard yelling. I ran upstairs and saw someone stab my dad. He saw me and Brian and ran out, hopped down the window. I saw my dad and said sorry for being a douchebag all my life. He didn’t hear me because he was already dead.” After finishing his statement, Max ran over to Brian and cried mournful tears while Brian rubbed his back.

“It’s OK, Max. I got you, which is more than I can say for these bumbling cops. Do something, or I’ll have my dad investigate the whole police!” At that threat, Sam went over to Brian’s face and said,

“Listen, Little Ginger Snap. You will keep your mouth shut before I have you arrested for disturbing the peace.” Pulling her back, Dave yelled,

“MASSEY. NO. These kids have had the worst day of their lives. Show some compassion.” The pain in those teenagers must have affected Dave, as his usual show of bravery was weakened. “You of all people should know what it’s like to see someone you care about being zipped up into a body bag, but that’s just too much to ask for Miss Samantha Massey, Ice Queen.”

“Look, I’m sorry you lost your family, but this really can’t be handled with anymore sensitivity. That might work in Hollywood, but not here.” With a shout, Brady said,

“Can we work together here? Mia and Max are devastated and feel bad for my friends. My dad trust you both to solve this, and we can’t be fighting people on our own side.” Ashamed of their own actions in front of much younger souls, Dave and Sam nodded their head.

“We’ve been acting like kindergarteners in front of high schoolers,” Sam said. She looked at Dave and said, “OK, Brady’s right. We need to remember what we’re here for.” Seeing Dave smile at her, Sam wondered,...what was she really there for? The case...or unfinished business with the pretty boy cop?...

#*#*#*#*#*#* #*#*#*#*#*#* #*#*#*#*#*#* #*#*#*#*#*#* #*#*#*#*#*#*

[askyfullofcolour-blog]

I'm lost

It's been awhile and I think everything is catching up. I had 12 deaths last year, a breakup, lost my mental health support system, had a car accident, 3 friend break downs and absolutely lost who I was. I decided to distance myself from a whole heap of people and realised that Katie and Mylie were the only friends that I really had time for, apart from work and the ones on the Sunshine Coast and Brisbane who I would see when I go down. This year I thought would be different, my support worker business for kids with special needs was booming and so many parents wanted me to look after their kids. I couldn't keep up. I had dreams of starting an organisation and I had dreams of being someone. Someone to make a difference. That's all I wanted. January I got news another friend took his life, my client lost her battle with cancer and I started working for a very stressful client. February came, I was attacked in a dv situation at work and spiralled down hill. The attack took me back to my relationship with Mia and I couldn't remember everything that happened in the attack. I packed up the mother and 4 kids and brought them to my house. I couldn't take my uniform off, I couldn't stop being in work mode because I literally bought work home. The next week my favourite teacher died. The teacher who believed in me, gave me straight A's even if I didn't do the work, offered to help me to buy a car, learn to drive, anything I needed. One who believed in me. Between him, Gabby and Margaret I graduated. I don't know what I would have done with out him. He didn't deserve what happened. He deserves so much more, but to hear him say 'ohana' in his eulogy, I knew he was talking to me. Kim moved up from nsw and moved in with me for a few weeks before venturing off into her own place. Now she doesn't speak to me. Awfully fun. March was the funeral for Glassock, my 23rd and being fired from difficult dv client. I ended up in hospital a few times, I got really sick and lost 11kg in a matter of days. I was accused of child abuse and my name was spread to clients and future clients causing me to lose $1200 per fortnight in wages. I was given a letter of eviction from my real estate to move after I breached them for neglect. 6 days to move just wasn't fair. But between my partner at the time, great friends and great clients I did it. Still waiting for the $5000 reimbursement to come soon. Thank god. I started seeing Kris and from day dot knew it wasn't right but I so desperately needed something to keep me together because I knew death anniversaries were coming up, I refused to grieve over Glassock, Rhys or Patricia. Kris smoked a lot of pot, was unemployed, 36, emotionally unstable, was known by police and had had no care of stealing. Everything that should have deterred me but didn't. What's new? Kris was a Dom, taught me a lot about being a sub and a lot that I, looking back in now know I shouldn't have had to deal with. I swore I'd never be in another abusive relationship and I was. I swore I would never be with someone who cheated on me and I was. I did it all over again. Forgave, put up with and even helped her get her 'fix' which was something I never thought I'd do. I had to have her leave my apartment after I had her in recording that she would bash me and then rape me. I had to leave as I was scared of what would happen if I stayed. Good work cass, you can pick them. Not dealing of everything that happened in the last month I cried over her leaving and even tried getting back with her. Drove down to see her and realised I could leave and detach myself. She was still in love with her ex and I was drowning myself, let alone have someone pushing me down further. April came and I'd been with 3 new clients now for some time. We took on the contract for the pub and Katie and I soon started doing it 3 times a week. I like it. I took on a new client with a non verbal non hearing almost 3 year old and absolutely fell in love with the parents. The father works away from home, mother part time work but both an amazing sense of humour. Little one has seizures and I really wasn't ready when the first one happened. No first aid, no cpr prepares you for that. In march going into April I made a friend in Canada. I professional Dom, someone who was incredibly funny, understanding and had a degree in psychology. We talked for hours every day. Lost sleep so I could stay up and talk. Anyone who knows me knows I struggle with bpd and one thing that comes with that is I can't figure out feelings when I make a new friend. Is it just friendship or is it more than that. I've had it with every single person I get close to. We both discovered we had feelings for each other, both planned visits, had goals. Crystal was another image of me who understood and loved everything I did. Too good to be true? Correct. Yep found out yesterday she's engaged to be married to someone she told me she had ended things with a while before. Who did she blame? Me. I didn't understand, I don't listen, I don't care. Yep no worries mate. I've been the other woman before and I won't do that. Middle of April I decided to message Jane and call off my law suit. I decided that I was hurting too much and that law suit was causing a lot of that pain. I needed to let that go and explain that the memories I had were great and I couldn't continue. I received a message I in a million years didn't expect. 2 days after I was booked into see my psychologist, I hadn't seen her in 2 years, I had so many things that I needed to see her about. Medical, deaths, personal. I saw my doctor, had 4 needles, blood tests, booked for ct, ultra sounds, biopsies and was referred to a neurologist and neurosurgeon and booked in to see a specialist to talk about options for a hysterectomy. I drove down to my psychologist mentally preparing myself, I hadn't slept the night before and I was exhausted. Kris was begging me to stay and that day just was shit. I walked into my psychologists office and had a frog in my throat. I wanted to run, I needed this though. I told the receptionist that I was here to see Jen. To which she replied 'I'm so sorry, she's sick today' 3.5 hours driving down to see her, making sure I had the $180 to see her. She wasn't available. I didn't think. I got in my car with tears streaming down my face. I drove to pc. 8% on my phone, that didn't matter. I climbed over the fence and sat on the edge. The edge of the cliff face hoping the wind would be enough to make me fall. My legs were jelly and wouldn't move. I sat there with my eyes closed just hearing the waves crash against the rocks below. I so wanted to be off that ledge, I wanted to go home. I don't know how I got off that ledge. I don't know how I got back in my car. I don't know how I got back in my apartment. Because I so badly wanted to be in the arms of everyone who had left. I had rebooked my doctors, psychologist and specialist appointment and I just needed to get through until then. May came around. I hate this month, everything about it. 19th was Daniels anniversary, 20th would have been a year for Mia and I being together, 26th is peters anniversary, 30th is Kendall's birthday. Then going into June 6th is 12 months since Maddie died, 7th is mums bitthday, 9th nanas, 11th, 2.5 years since hope died and 13th kirsti's birthday. So many important dates and so much I just don't wanna deal with. I managed to fracture my coccyx with no idea how. My work slipped and I just wasn't able to bring in as much as I need to. Mother's Day I came down with the death flu that with my period the worst it's ever been, nerve pain and a fractured coccyx was the worst timing. I'm still sick. I continued to work through but I was always exhausted but lucky I had understanding clients and pushed through. I'm lost. I don't understand death, I don't understand how I thought finding my family would mean my whole life would change, I thought that I would fix everything. I know that I have to see my psychologist and grasp this but I'm lost. I literally sat crying on Daniels anniversary saying to Katie I only want to talk to Jane. Crystal spat chips. It's not because I'm In love with Jane but she went through a lot with me. Her and Kyron understood how my brain worked. I'm sick of the nightmares, the flashbacks, the pain. I never thought I'd self harm as hard as I have again. Burning my legs with acid, pouring acid on cuts. They're not deep but enough to hurt when acid is poured on an open wound. When did this all go so wrong?. When did this get this bad? I need to get back on top of things. Really really need to get back. Otherwise I will end up dead and I haven't made up my mind of if that's what I want. Hoping I can get some sleep with no nightmares with trunks. I'm out.